The sun has got his hat on

You know the Sun, the giant ball of fire that our planet revolves around? Yes that big thing in the sky that the lesser intelligent point at in fear, well it's a bastard. A big fiery bastard.
My reason for this? Is it global warming, the fact that the sun is causing the planet to heat up and the polar ice caps to melt and flood the world like the plot of some Roland Emmerich disaster movie? No, the sun isn't a bastard because of that, people are bastards when it comes to global warming.Is it because the sun causes skin cancer? No, again that is due to people being bastards, we have a hole in the ozone layer people, sunbathing for too long is causing to fuck with your skin.
So why is the sun a bastard?Because its stopping me from playing my games.Yes you big orange grinning bastard! You who shines through my living room window with such brightness that if I even attempt to play a game that has some dark corridors, I can't make out the screen never mind what is happening.
Okay so on saturday, for the first day in a long time, the sun was shining and the birds were singing and it was a really really nice day. Gemma and I go for a long walk, first around the shops, grabbing lunch and just a general wander, then we decide to walk to a park which is a good distance away. Its a nice walk and the sun is beating down, sure enough Gemma get's sunburn on her shoulders, back and chest and me, being covered up and all, gets sunburn on the back of my neck. When we returned home, I decided to pop a game into the 360, I've had my excursion of the day and want to chill out buy playing some Fallout 3 for a while. The game loads up and I am out in the wasteland, everything is fine but as soon as I go anywhere that is remotely dark, suddenly I can't see what is happening, and this doesn't help when 2 mirelurks are charging at me with intent to head butt me to death.
So play a game that doesn't have dark stuff in it then, you cry with derision and pity that I choose to play games on such a glorious day. Well you know what, no! I wanted to play Fallout 3 and the sun decided to be a bastard and ruin my fun. And it continues to do so even today, in fact every day that is sunny I will be forced to wait until it is dark (which is normally about 11pm) and then play a game but by then I am too tired and end up going to bed anyway.
So yes, the sun has got his hat on, but his hat reads "I touch children for fun" because he is a bastard!